Hello world, AND welcome!!
My name is Brendalee and my (now) ex-husband has a serious drug addiction.
We all have similar stories…
We share the same pain, grief, betrayal, confusion. hopelessness and frustration.
And as the weeks go on, I’ll tell you my personal story, my journey… And I hope that one day you will share yours as well.
I began this support group because for me personally, I’ve found that there really isn’t anything out there for the families & friends of our addicted loved ones, aside from Al-anon. Al-anon is a great support group, and works for many many people, but for me personally, I needed more…
During this 11 year journey, I have come to realize that my experiences with a drug addicted loved one don’t necessarily follow the “12 steps” that AA and Al-anon follow.
My experiences follow the grieving process more than anything else.
My experiences weren’t validated or given respect by the mental health community. The entire focus is on helping the addict. I started feeling worthless, unimportant, and invisible.
My questions were left unanswered and I believed that it was “ok” because that’s the way it was.
Here I was, doing everything I could think of to help my ex with his addiction, paying for everything, making phone calls, coming up with ideas and suggestions as to how to help him, asking for help from anyone I could possibly think of, and he was doing nothing to help himself. My life had been turned upside down & forever changed. and all I was offered was Al-anon, and “I’m sorry”. I had no other options, no other choices, no other solutions… because that’s all that there was.
Well….I got angry.
Really angry. And really determined to help ME and YOU and everyone else out there with my similar situation.
That’s when I began OURFATES as another choice to Al-anon, and suffering in silence.
And with your help, we’re going to change all of that…the frustration, confusion, disinterest, the insignificance, the lack of help and information…one determined, broken heart at a time.
Welcome!!
We ARE families and friends of loved ones who have an addiction problem. We are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, wives, husbands, cousins, best friends, significant others, etc. We are you. We are everyone.
We have embarked on a journey that has & forever changed us. By coming here, I offer you a place for hope and healing, a source of information and strength, and tools to help you get through today, tomorrow, and forever forward.
Please browse through our site, ask questions, leave comments, make suggestions, and come to our support groups. Together, we can and will make a difference for each other.
*Disclaimer: This website is not meant to give professional advice. This is only a place for people to come and share experiences. If you need the help of a professional, please contact a certified therapist or grief counselor. Thank you.